Did you know that many of our circumstances can be resolved by simply changing our perspective? I for one, used to think, if I just changed my circumstance then my feelings would improve. My pain would subside and I would be happy and free! Nothing could be further from the truth.
The truth is, our circumstances are often the direct result of our beliefs. Not always, because there is still free will in others that contribute to our situation, but for the most part, many issues can be resolved through our thought processes.
Think about it, if you think something will not happen, or you believe a negative thought, most times it will become your reality. Ever hear the old saying, “you are what you think”? If you believe you are broke, and that you are miserable because you have no money then you will likely struggle to make ends meet.
Another example, I regularly have clients that believe they don’t deserve an amazing partner in life. They believe that what they have is the best they will get, yet they are miserable and decide they will just settle for what they have. Afterall they have someone, right?
Again, wrong. Why settle when you can have your heart’s desire!? Here’s the thing, you don’t have to wear yourself out by trying to control your environment to meet your needs and get what you want. That is exhausting because if your belief never changes, how can your circumstance? You are in a cycle of disappointment because you don’t have the tools to change it. This is why I do what I do as a coach, to help others overcome this and break the cycle!
The first step is identifying what is driving your thoughts because, that is all that they are in a moment, a thought coming to the conscious mind that needs to be let out. If you can identify this then you can begin to examine your belief patterns, which foster a feeling in you. And that feeling causes you to react or respond. Which in turn, leads to a situation or circumstance.
Why do you think we continue to repeat behaviors that do not serve us? I have – correction…had a history of being a doormat to people. Why? Because I believed that no one would care about me unless I could do something for them. So, when asked to jump, I would say “how high should I jump?”!! My belief was…no one cares, so I need to please them. The feeling I got from that belief was that I was unlovable, that I needed the approval of others to feel whole. So, I allowed people to abuse me because I felt accepted, seen. In reality I was wearing myself out trying to please, when all I needed was some confidence in myself, and self-love. Today, I am no longer a doormat. ?
Do you see how this works?
So, what do you do? Well, for starters – change your thought patterns. You may not be able to change the thought, but you can change what you do with it. Talk about it, journal it, share it with a friend or a life coach. Identify your thought, belief, and feeling associated with it. Then, change it. Imagine you could change your thought to something better, more uplifting, positive, one that would serve you rather than hurt you. Notice what you believe about it, how you feel about it. I changed my thought to belief people do care about me and that I am still relevant with or without their approval. I matter, to God and to others who love me unconditionally. I don’t need to please anyone, but myself. This belief caused me to feel secure and confident and now I am living in more positive life-giving circumstances.
Make this exercise a habit and I bet you will start to see change and growth in your own life. Let your new positive thoughts drive healthier beliefs that will create a better experience, a better circumstance in your life.
You might even discover something about yourself, or a new strength and confidence you didn’t know you had in you! Let your mind show you what you are capable of!
Be blessed!
